Darling I Love You!

Gordon Brown first denied any knowledge of what was happening in his own Government. A little more fudge was thrown around when Darling insisted that it was not a "review" but rather a "factual paper". Then, in an attempt to pass the hot potato around the House, all parties were invited to partake in the erm, factual paper.

Finally, in a remarkable turn of events, Alistair Darling announced today the Government will scrap the Barnett Formula! This Formula is the mechanism through which Scotland is gifted more money for welfare spending than Wales and EVERY English region, despite there being no need and them not having to pay a penny extra in taxes.

For this to be announced by a minister from a Scottish constituency, on Brown’s watch, is nothing short of remarkable. It flies in the face of their constituents’ interests and it is contrary to their solemn oath to ensure Scotland’s interests “are paramount”. Critics have labelled this announcement a cynical attempt to stop Labour’s slide in the polls; but Jack Straw vehemently denied this saying “I think Gordon has finally decided to do the decent thing by making welfare funding fairer for everyone and not just feathering the nests of his kith and kin up north”.

The SNP said that it would oppose any attempted "smash-and-grab" raid on Scottish spending, but Labour's Wendy Alexander was in a conciliatory mood. The Leader of the Scottish Parliamentary Party commented “to be honest, I think we did well to get away with it for so long. We’ve got so much money swilling about up here it’s getting embarrassing, but you’re no getting any back!”

The Government has not indicated if Scotland will be asked to repay the £69Bn overspend since 1998, but it is thought unlikely. The full details behind this story can be read here.